Time is an Illusion: the project pt. 4

You have to be intentional about living

Absolutely honored to say this piece was originally published in BlackStack’s Sunday Service Announcement Week 14 Issue. Thank you again BlackStack for allowing me to contribute! My journey on Substack so far has been nothing short of amazing because of the writers I found in this group.

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The theme of 2024 for me has been intentionality. 

Since having a few conversations about seasonal depression recently, I've been inspired to get ahead of an emotional winter by living more intentionally.

I usually have a hard time in the Winter months, sometimes filled with deep depressive episodes. Oddly these last two years have felt significantly easier. Not completely absent of depression, but better.

After reflecting on last Winter, I remembered I was participating in a group full of creative black women meeting weekly while working on a personal zine and a new YouTube channel. The year prior I was participating in that same creative group and putting together my first poetry book. Seeing a theme of creativity right?

These last two years might’ve gone so well because I tapped into my creative energy at the right time. Also, I’m a Fall baby, so the spirit of Fall may just be more aligned with my creative season. Maybe. All hypotheticals, but I don’t see a reason why I shouldn’t go for it again. Having a creative project to focus on might be part of the Winter depression cure.

Another part I’m slowly realizing is intentionality. This tweet sums it up well.

Intentionally creating joy in the mundane could look like taking a walk and finding patterns in the clouds, the trees, the local plant life. Or blasting music in the shower. Or putting on a “baddie” playlist while getting dressed. Or having a podcast you only listen to when washing dishes.

Or simply planning themed days. TV binge Tuesday, sweet treat Saturday, spiritual Sunday, new music Friday, try a new food Thursday, Wednesday walking adventures, midday nap Monday. These are my literal ideas to try out next month with just picking 1 or 2 each week, because why not? 

I saw someone on TikTok mention weekly soup nights with friends. Someone else mentioned leaning into festivity to have something to be excited about. I've never been a festive person but if that's what I have to do to live a meaningful life, then aye deck the halls and give me a Santa hat. 

Point is, before the days shorten and darkness closes in, we have to be intentional about how we use our daylight.

I know I said "we", but I’m really just preaching to myself and hoping someone else may benefit.

I’ve been playing around with time and perspective to maintain solid mental health while working a strenuous job. I’m honestly proud of how well I’m hanging on, but intentionality applies to all areas of life, apparently.

Like on my last hair wash day, I was annoyed with having to do my hair, as always. Usually, I’d steep in that frustration for the entire duration of doing my hair, and groan about how much time it stole from me afterward. But in the spirit of intentional living and trying to speed up time, I decided to turn on my essential oil diffuser and play the songs I’m currently obsessing over. I had a blast. A task I’ve long dreaded turned into a fun moment just from a simple intention to feel better. Intention to make another fun moment simply because I DESERVE another fun moment.  

With all my recent experiments with time and reflecting on how my perspective has changed over the last 2 years, I'm learning that it was up to me to be intentional all along. I just expected life to suddenly feel joyful one day. I expected time to warp itself in my favor without me thinking about it. I expected bad moods to disappear on their own. I expected fun to randomly fall into my lap. I thought not having excessive free time was the reason my life felt so lackluster. The sad part is I internalized those failed expectations. Conditioning I guess?

I’m a 28 year old teenager learning how to live life, and this is just part of my reparenting. Learning and teaching myself that I can enjoy life much more than I have been as long as I create these moments for myself.

My friend recently recommended this cool black woman’s YouTube page where she plans fun and rest for the upcoming week every Friday live. Her main point is that if we plan it ahead of time, we’re more likely to prioritize those moments. Absolutely LOVE this idea. This just speaks to how as adults, it really is up to us to put forth the intention to live. Whether it’s intentionally resting, intentionally playing, or intentionally creating. It doesn’t always just “happen”. 

What do you have planned this Sunday? Next Sunday? Anything fun soon? If not, what’s stopping you? 

I love that we’re all so creative, but how creative are we being with the way we live our day to day lives?

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Again this piece was originally published with Black Stack in the article below. I care about this group a lot and it’s also a great resource for finding amazing black writers. Check them out 🫶🏾

Week 14: Sunday Service Announcements

If you made it this far, I so so appreciate you taking the time to read this. I hope it helped you in some way 🤍.

Consider checking out the other posts in this series

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

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