living within my means (energetically)

slowing down as self care

Y’all, I needed a break. I was so geared up to make this past Fall and Winter balanced yet productive, but my body had other plans.

---

A million thanks to all the subscribers that stayed and new readers that joined while I was away. I truly love you all and appreciate the support🤍🤍🤍

---

When I think about my dream life, it includes slowing down from November to March (or Winter to Spring), so I gave it a test run this year and I’m glad I did.

For the last few years, I’ve had to master the lesson of living within my means financially, but this recent break taught me that the same concept should be applied energetically as well. If I only have x hours of capacity, then I should be living a life that requires less than that. That applies to working, socializing, creating, everything.

I not only had the habit of overspending on things I didn’t need, but I also worked longer hours than what I had the natural energy for, so I stayed in constant cycles of burnout. I over socialized beyond my natural capacity, so I fell into deep isolation for weeks at a time. Whenever I had the capacity to start a workout routine, I’d overdo it and end up sore for a week then fall off track. I generally have a history of overdoing a lot of things.

So, for the last few months I took a break. No publishing, minimal socializing, no networking, reduced commitments, pushed back on overtime at work (still did a ton but cut back where I could), and generally tried to take everything slower.

“Be aware of what season you are in and give yourself the grace to be there.”

— Kristen Dalton

The only two things I allowed myself to keep was resting and creating. I created a lot, most of which will never be published. I slept a lot. I relaxed a lot. I stayed home a lot. A true hibernation.

I started EMDR with a bomb therapist. Not the “worksheet & talking” EMDR, but actual EMDR. 100/10 highly recommend. I tuned in more deeply to my inner world and built a stronger relationship with myself. I established better (not perfect) boundaries with my job. I said no to many things I wouldn’t feel energized by. Finally got my diet right and a decent consistent workout routine. Got a really strong grip on my finances (I plan to write more about this soon, stay tuned). And because of all this I feel like I have a much better baseline to produce from.

---

---

Now that the days are longer and the sun is out, I'm ready to bloom with the flowers. I'm feeling more in tune with the outer world than I ever have. And it genuinely puzzles me that we’re not taught to move with nature.

Even if our inner cycles aren’t perfectly aligned with nature (especially with global warming and different regional weather), every living thing still has “cycles”. Rhythms. Flows. Why are we expected to live day after day with no natural breaks? Hell, even machines and systems need breaks for updates and maintenance. The rate at which we move in this capitalistic society, a few hours of sleep at night isn’t enough.

From a creative perspective, I now understand where artist blocks come from. It's often our creative center taking a much needed break to recover and preserve. It’s like Fall. Where the trees don’t just go bare because it’s cold, but so the leaves can break down and nourish the soil for next year's growth. I intentionally allowed my leaves to fall and nourish me for a more fruitful creative sprint this year and I can already feel a big difference.

“All the trees are losing their leaves, and not one of them is worried.”

— Donald Miller

Happy Spring Equinox! I’m so excited to hit publish again!! Thanks for reading this far and supporting my work 🤍. I’m genuinely excited to get back to things because I have a lot planned for this year.

I plan to show myself on YouTube again so make sure to subscribe, and maybe even grab a copy of The Box written by me. Anything else I have going on will be announced here on Substack or Instagram. All things me at lavendulaonline.com Thanks again for being here 🤍